Friday, November 13, 2009

Dear Carrie Prejean,

Letters of Intent


It's Friday kids! Time to let it all hang out! You know the drill. Head over to Julie's to see what everyone else needed to "air" this week and who knows, you may feel led to participate too.
Dear ex-Ms. California Carrie Prejean,

After the airing of your many television and radio appearances this week, it's become blaringly obvious that you need some "words of wisdom" and guess what?!?! I'm just the gal to do it! So buckle your seat baby, it's gonna be a bumpy ride!

When I was a child, my parents taught me many important things one of which was learning "you can't have it both ways". Evidently your parents never did get around to teaching you this so here are some examples of "you can't have it both ways".

1. You make a sex tape for your boyfriend (and by the way, PUULLLEEEAASSSEE..everyone can pretty much figure out you "pleasured yourself" on camera. DUH!) Then you send it off with the boyfriend who is now no longer your boyfriend who then digs up dirty tape and makes it "publicly known" that there is a tape and you cry "inappropriate". Hhhmmm.....I believe "inappropriate" should have been the one and only thought on your mind WHEN YOU MADE THE TAPE!!!! You can't have it both ways.

2. You are more than happy to accept breast implants from pageant officials. (Trust me, I would be too but I digress...) Then this week you go on air and cry "foul" about liberal media. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't see any Pastor's wife accepting breast implants from a secular organization and then go very public (Focus on the Family) to tout the wonders of her conservative beliefs.  You can't have it both ways.

3. You tell whoever will give you the time of day that you are speaking up for women's conservative beliefs but there's UBER footage of you prancing around on stage in a tiny bikini and it's very obvious you are very comfortable in doing so. Honey, there's nothing conservative about the swing of your ass in all of that footage. Trust me when I say YOU DO NOT SPEAK FOR ME! You can't have it both ways.

I could go on, but I'm pretty sure any reasonable woman could see the writing on the wall here. You're a dumb bimbo who thought she could get somewhere with her looks. When that didn't pan out, you decided to you could get somewhere with a book screaming about your conservative, Christian beliefs and how you've been wronged. I'm pretty sure that's not going quite the way you thought it would either. I personally know many wonderful, amazing, conservative Christian women who could really teach you a thing or two.

So please, get off your high horse, take your skinny ass, (yes, I still hate my scale) fake boobies, big mouth and stupid book that I hope no one buys or reads, and GO AWAY.
M-kay pumpkin?

7 comments:

Michelle Pixie said...

Amen! She looked like a damn fool on Larry King! And when are these girls going to learn to stop spreading their legs for the video camera and then cry about it later when it's posted all over the world?! I just don't get it? I've never had the urge to capture me in all my glory on film and I am sure all the world is grateful for that! ;)

Foursons said...

I wanted to do a letter like this to Britney Spears when she was going through all her crap. Too bad I didn't even have a blog back then!

Well said and maybe when she Google's her own name she'll get to read it. Let's hope so!

Thanks for linking up!

Rudy Rukus said...

Sweet letter!! I think you could add about a hundred other pathetic wanna be celebs to the list! That kind of crap so infuriates me!!!
Brandie

Tendrils said...

LOOOOOOOVE your letter! I too can think of some others who need letters like these too!!!! :)

Wife, mother...and now a grandma! said...

another beautifully written sentiment!!!

Stone Fox said...

you write the best letters, i swear! i feel a little bit bad for this girl, because she really is being pilloried in the media. yes, she totally brought it on herself by being a terrible hypocrite. i guess i feel bad that she is so insecure that she feels the need to create all this drama around herself so she feels validated. maybe she should spend *less* time scheming to get on TV and *more* time figuring out how to live by the words she speaks.

Big Mama Cass said...

HAHAHA!! Awesomeness!!!! Love it. I hope somehow she gets to read this. :)