Yes my friends, it is Friday. Friday's are awesome in many ways and Letters of Intent is one of them. Make sure you jump on over to Julie's Blog and see what everyone has to say today!
Dear Strangers on an Airplane,
This is something that has bothered me for quite some time now, years actually, and I just have to get it off my chest.
I don't care to fly. I come very close to hating it. When we need to go somewhere out of State, I will seriously crunch numbers to try and figure out a way to drive where I need to be and make every single effort at avoiding getting on an airplane. However, there are times when we have to fly. Going to Alaska. We have to fly. No choice. It's just too darn far by auto. Like three days in an auto.
So when I am forced to get onto an airplane, I would like each and every one of you to leave me alone. I don't know you. I don't want to know you. I will never see you again and you are wasting my "Holy crap I'm so freakin' scared I can't see straight" time. Yeah. I'm that chick.
No, I really am. Did you SEE the plane go down in the Hudson river?! If I'm on a plane and the Pilot or the Co-Pilot or WHOEVER got on the intercom and said, "We are emergency landing in the Hudson" I promise you I will be the chick screaming "WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE"!!!!!!!!!!! I will be the chick who will be LEAPING like Peter Pan over your baby, your two year old, your sick elderly grandma to be the first one OUT THE DAM DOOR!! Now I ask you, do you really want to start a conversation up with me?
Do you really need to know who I am, where I'm heading and what I'll be doing when I get there? Because I don't want to know who you are, where you're heading and what you'll be doing when YOU get to YOUR destination. I. DON'T. CARE.
Listen, it's bad enough that we are all crammed like cattle on a truck with ZERO elbow room, leg room, butt room of any kind. That we are miles above the Earth and there's no reason in my mind why this ginormous behemouth of machinery is up that far CARRYING MY SCARED ASS TO WHERE I HAVE TO BE! MUST we make it worse by playing nice? I just don't think so.
So please, if you see me on an airplane, smile. Take your seat and keep your mouth shut. Okay pumpkin? Now where is the Flight Attendant with that dam drinks cart 'cause if I don't get some booze in me and calm down just a hair, things could go badly....